I have four younger sisters, one of them (R) is always determined to be different and I respect that but sometimes I wonder if struggling against the “mainstream” is worth it or if it really makes any difference in the end. Yesterday she told me that she was going to her year 10 formal (Junior Prom for American readers) dressed as Pikachu because seriously dressing up for those types of events is apparently a “popularity contest”.
For some odd reason this made me a bit annoyed, perhaps because getting dressed up for my formal made me feel special and happy and her implication was that that feeling was vapid (which undoubtedly says more about how I feel than her). Or perhaps it was based on my inner bullshit detector that told me that dressing up as Pikachu was a way of participating in a popularity contest of its own kind, it’s still a statement and it’s still a fashion choice.
I tried to explain to her that I don’t disagree with her choice but that if you dress as a Pikachu you still ultimately participate in the “game” of popularity and that you can never really opt out, all you can do is become comfortable enough with yourself to accept what you do and don’t like and how you look.
Then I called her a Hipster and frankly the gloves were off. I started composing a song, my favourite line of which goes “Crazy Pikachu Hipster, plays vintage twister” which I sang to her over the phone. She told me that my song was so bad Kanye would be singing it which seems unnecessarily harsh.
I’m not 100% proud of where I went with that and R if you are reading this I love you and always will for a million reasons, one of which is that you go your own way. I was a freaky little outcast when I was a teenager so I know how that feels and all I ever wanted to hear was someone say “I got your back”. I totally have your back and here is a picture of a super cute Pikachu to cheer you up, this is a graphic representation of how excited I am to be seeing you soon. Gotta catch em all!
What do you think? Does making a statement with your clothes mean a lot to you? Is dressing contrary to expectations still a statement?
I initially refused to go to my year 12 formal because I thought it was a complete load of shit. I was so set on going against everything which was considered “normal” about attending, but in the end I figured out that it was doing me no good to act that way.
Why shouldn’t I just enjoy the night with friends? Why couldn’t I allow myself to have the same experience as everyone else who attended?
So I went! I went shopping with my Mum and we bought myself I gorgeous dress which I still have.
I had my hair done, my nails and my makeup. Boy did I feel wonderful.
I didn’t have a date, so what?! I went with my girlfriends who many made a stand also to not have a date. 11 of us hired a limo and had a great night. We stayed in a hotel for the night and went out on a pub/club crawl.
It’s the most socialising I had ever done in my high school years, and it was the last year of school. I wish I had done it sooner then shy away from people.
Going in a Pikachu won’t solve any problems. You will still be attending the event, which is supposed to be a celebration. I would personally rather not attend the event rather then make a mockery of it.
I went to mine fully dressed up in a full length dress, all of the popular girls wore disgustingly short dresses, skin tight and looked like they were just out clubbing.
I didn’t care. I focused on enjoying the night with friends, and that’s what it was about to me.
I was sitting here feeling like you had told my story word for word when I remembered that I did actually have a “date” for my junior formal, then I remembered that he ended up going home in some one else’s limo…. Ah memories, good times!
I did a similar thing, I dressed up (my aunty was a dress maker so she made my dress) and I went along to have the best night possible, focusing on having fun rather than anything else.
I am glad that I made an effort though, I made an effort for me and that is what I would recommend to any one, do what makes you feel good.
I honestly wish I could go back in time and not waste the crappy 4 hours on my formal. I graduated with a group of people who, for the most part, I didnt like. People who enjoyed picking on others or making them feel isolated. Pointing out their faults seemed to be a sick hobby and I just thought, after WAY to many American coming of age movies that some how it was going to be different.
There was no particular event that made my prom bad. It was just a room full of people who didnt like each other. We had music. No-one dance. We had photos but the photographer made girls stand around with their arms under their stomachs as if they were pregnant and given that I was chubby in high-school, made me look like I was probably going to give birth into a dumpster afterwards.
I didnt feel pretty because everyday was a competition against girls who were tall, thin and gorgeous. If I had the confidence to not give a shit, I would have gone as something crazy. I *wish* I had your sisters hipster attitude. Somehow it would have made that awkward time in life a little bit easier…
I would love to see an end result picture!
At the time of my formal, I had just recovered from being really ill for about 4 months, and was at a pretty low point with my self-esteem and body confidence. After much to-ing and fro-ing, I bought a dress on sale for some insanely cheap price. I put it on and felt grown up and beautiful. That sealed the deal. The dress was full-length, like lots of the other girls at my formal, but it was cobalt blue. Every other girl in my year wore burgundy, emerald green or cream (clearly federation colours were a theme). I was a shining sapphire amongst all the sombre, serious frocks. I didn’t have a date. I went in a car with some friends who all had dates, and we had so much fun. I got to dance my butt off (including with some of the teachers, which was hilarious), and I got so many compliments that night, because for the first time in my high school ‘career’ I was standing solo, different to the crowd, and showing who I truly was. And I felt better than I had at any time in the preceding 5 years.
I don’t think the dress was the best part of my outfit that night, but I do think that being in an outfit that made me feel comfortable, confident and allowed me to show people who I truly was without having to say a word, made me feel like a winner that night. And it’s a memory that I keep for those days when my body and my mind can’t gel properly (like this morning).
I guess what I’m saying is that sometimes you don’t even realise that you are dressing in a contrary way, or going out of your way to make a statement, but you do. If your sister is comfortable that the statement her outfit makes fits with who she is as a person, ok. But I think it’s also important to remember that those photos and memories will be with her entire class for the rest of their lives, and that’s sometimes how you get remembered.